Hardboiled Naegi
by Mrotrax
Summary: Kirgri isn't the only Super High School Detective at Hope's Peak Academy; a very different Naegi Makoto is in this story; a hardboiled, monloguing in the style of black and white noir films or Sin City kind of Naegi. A Negi who has a way with the ladies…and a hunger for answers. First story written in single-person view and first actual harem story.
1. Meet the Hardboiled Hater

Hardboiled Naegi

Plot: Kirgri isn't the only Super High School Detective at Hope's Peak Academy; a very different Naegi Makoto is in this story; a hardboiled, monloguing in the style of black and white noir films or Sin City kind of Naegi. A Negi who has a way with the ladies…and a hunger for answers.

First story written in single-person view and first actual harem story, read and review.

 **Chapter 1: Death Games? Not on my watch**

I wake up to an unfamiliar ceiling, my face pressed against a desk and a small puddle of drool visible.

How many times you hear that in an opening chapter?

Aw well, I digress.

My name's Naegi Makoto, first year high school student.…well, that should be enough for now, you'll learn more about me soon enough.

I scan the room; a classroom with no open windows or other students. Nails imbued in the walls.

I got no memory of how I got here.

Suddenly, the intercom buzzes louder than nessacary.

"All students report to the gym for the 8:30 assembly!"

That voice…so scratchy…annoying…Oh god damn it, here comes the pain!

Head ringing, I rummage through my jacket, looking desperately for what I always take in situations like this.

Whoever put me in this room here took my pills, but had the decency to let me keep my thermos of Joe.

Shit.

Plan B then. I just breathe in and out. In and out. The headaches subside, but not by too much.

I'm going to kill the person who put me in here when I catch them. Slowly, brutally and in a way they won't show on TV in any country. Like something out of the Saw movies. I just need garrotte wire, rubber tubes, handcuffs, a bible and a hungry animal.

I check the clock: 8:29. Well, I'm going to be late for this assembly and I can now see everything is still, so I force myself up, only to spin for a spilt second…My legs are jelly…How long have I been in this room? At least the door is unlocked, so I'm not locked in.

I look for a map to lead me to this supposed gym. I find it and walk in the direction. I also realize where I am; Hope Peak Academy, where only the best of the best of the best are enrolled.

How I got in is just another question that needs answering, and no Makoto leaves questions unanswered. That's the logo of mom's detective agency.

Mom….Sis…

I open the gym door. Inside are my fellow students: Eight dames and aside from me, six guys.

The loud mouth, Ishida Kiyotaka, is dressed in a hall monitor or solider uniform and reprimanding me for being late.

"Save it, I just woke up in an empty classroom, got a headache and my pills are missing." I flip him off. He promptly tells me that the middle finger isn't allowed in a school environment.

Damn it, I need my pills. Does this guy come with a volume control? I'll refer to him as Hardass from now on.

I go through and meet the others. Somebody mentions everyone woke up like me, but I'm really not concerned with that.

Togami Byakuya. I can already tell he's going to be a pain in my ass; the snooty rich kid in businessmen attire who just so happens to be a genius in everything he does? Likens himself to a god that we mere mortals are lucky enough to be in the mere presence of? Yeah, there a word for people like him: Dick.

Hagakure Yashuhiro is the fortune teller. In this day and age, to see someone really dedicate themselves to that is both sad and awesome. Sad in his case; something tells me he couldn't tell the past from the present. He has dreadlock hair, wears sandals. I'm either going to get along with him, or wish him a painful end. Probably both.

Yamada Hirumi is a straight up nerd. Grossly fat and the biggest of us in terms of girth and heights….I've never picked on anyone, but I feel the urge to beat him up on principal. Especially since he does nothing but talk about videogames and fanfics. Look, I'm all for fandoms, but level it out with other stuff.

Mondo Owada, or as I like to call him, the Kuwabara wannabe. He wears a biker's outfit and seems out to start a fight. There's going to be a reckoning between us soon, I can tell.

Finally, Leon Kuwata. The baseball player, in here? Well, he is one of the best. Seems like a decent fella.

And finally…the ladies. Oh, the ladies….Maybe being trapped in here won't be so bad, considering the beauties in this room.

What? I'm a teenager, cut me some slack. At least I admit it.

First up is a gothic beauty in a maid's cap and black school uniform, a Lolita style. Celesita Lundenberg, a gambler. Her hair is done in black curl horns with a hime-cut and she wears a finger ring.

Then Junko Enoshima; a blonde with mismatched scrunchies in her hair; one a bow and the other a bunny. Her black shirt is buttoned, showing off a black bra and leaving little to the imagination.

Next we have Fijuisaki Chihiro…So damn cute. Shortest of us all, in a green dress and big eyes….she reminds me of my kid sis… a computer prodigy with short blonde hair.

Then there's Aoi Asahina, the swimmer. Jogging suit and a white T-shirt with tanned skin brown hair in an upwards ponytail. Oh, and the shirt's loose.

Sakura Ogami is an unexpected one; well-muscled and almost manly, if not for the dress and her voice. A rough, tough and tumble kind of gal. The kind who can watch your back in a fight. She and Aoi seem close, must be friends.

Toko Fukawa, the writer. I've read some of her works…pretty good, despite how scared she seems. She has the adorkable look; glasses, black schoolgirl dress and glasses. She's looking over at Togami with want, and I already pity her in that regard.

In the back is Kyouko Kirigri. She's quiet, anlyasizing the whole shtick. She has lavender hair, wears a leather jacket and gloves and a red tie.

And then finally, there's Maizono Sayaka.

Maizono…

The idol of my old school; blue hair that reaches the small of her back with a pink ribbon and rocking a school uniform so well it should be illegal. Her songs always made in top 10 in Japan, and if you looked deep enough, somewhere in the West probably had them on their list.

She actually knows who I am; she remembers us being in the same class.

HOLY SHIT, AN IDOL KNOWS I EXIST!

Sorry. World shattering revelation right there. Probably won't happen again…maybe. Where was I? Oh yeah:

The principal is a teddy bear.

….

Let me repeat that:

The. Principal. Is. A. Fucking. Teddy. Bear.

Half white and half black, answers to the name Monokuma.

When did my life become an anime or videogame (if Yamada reads this, I can already tell he's going to throw a piss-fit)? In what semblance of reality would this fly…?

Oh.

Cleaver, Monokuma, cleaver. Cutting off communication to the outside world and trapping us in here. Straight out of one of Toko's novels.

Along with what he says we're here for:

Kill each other and get away with it? Sounds like whoever's in charge here has such a hard-on for the Hunger Games or Battle Royale their overpowering thought. Surprisingly, nobody comments on that. At least this isn't a straight up killfest; we're going to have to solve the murderers?

This is going to be kind of fun.

Kirigri is the only one whos demeanour hasn't changed one bit. She's clearing breaking down everything we've been told while others try to argue against what Monokuma's said.

"Not going to happen."

I'm not the first to have said it; but everyone looks to me as I pour myself a cup of barely warm joe and down it one gulp.

"Anybody here with a dick is fair game." I announce. "I don't hit dames of any sort. Coffee?"

Probably just dug myself a grave, but I'll be damned if I don't take at least one of these shmucks with me if it comes to that.

Also, dying a virgin is not allowed; sis and mom would never let me hear the end of it.

The Kuwabara wannabe is pissed, big shocker, and tries to attack the bear. Anybody could've told him that was a bad idea, especially when a countdown goes off.

For some reason, I push him out of way. My jacket is singed, but I'm fine. Certainly doesn't hurt Maizono seems real concerned about me.

Not two minutes later, the Kuwabara wannabe tries to slug Togami for being a dick; as much as I hate the guy and he deserves it, something tells me to be the diplomat in this hopeless situation.

I get the feeling I'm going to be listening to that something.

I stop the thug's punch with my palm, putting a lot of strength in stopping it. Give him this much; he's actually tough,

"Don't expect that all the time." I hiss at the rich kid, turning to the thug. "And you. Calm down and explore with the others. Let's meet up at the cafeteria."

I suggest the cafeteria because that's where I'm going to be staying most of the time here; Monokuma mentioned the kitchen's fully stocked and thinks I'm going to settle plain lunches?

I fix myself up some beef teriyaki with egg and noodles, and offer some to Maizono.

Nobody finds anything that can help. I laugh when the thug admits he tried kicking steel door for an hour when a pin-pad was visible. Clearly, he's an idiot.

Aoi and Sakura mention a nurse's office.

"WHERE?" I shout. "I NEED MY PILLS!"

They point me in the right direction and I bolt out of the room.

Wait a sec.

I dash back and glare at the assembled.

"Touch the noodles and you're dead."

Once at the nurse's office, I tear through the assorted pills, looking for one name: Nalfon.

I find it and take two whole things of pills, popping a few in my mouth.

Finally, the headaches and vertigo are gone.

I go back and explain my condition. Another grave probably dug, but seeing as I'm stuck with these people until otherwise, I might as well be open.

XXXX

Two days pass and everybody's still alive. The bear must be pissed, because he calls us in and makes it clear we can't leave until we commit the perfect crime.

Junko, that hot blonde, almost follows in the thug's footsteps trying to fight the bear, who summons Gumgir spears.

Unlike with the thug, there's no hesitation with shielding Junko; ladies are always a priority in my book, and if what little I know of Norse mythology is true…

In the end, Junko isn't skewered, but my arm has a hole in it and I lost probably half a pint of blood. Thankfully, the spears don't live up to the name. Junko and Maizono take me to the Nurse's and bandage me up.

Not going to lie; two dames batching up a bum like me feels pretty good. The look of jealousy on the other's faces makes it all the sweeter.

Monokuma gives us a DVD to watch in the media room. Mine has mom and sis wishing me luck at this school, then cuts to a mangled mess of a room.

I remember both images, and then my memory comes back a little more. I came home to the second scene…and worse. State declared me and orphan, gave me an allowance to live on, then informed me of my…condition.

A tumor, size of a golf ball, in my brain. Inoperable. At best, I have three years to live, and this DVD ends with a pic of my medical report.

For Monokuma to know that….

Okay. The sick freak in charge here is going to die. Saw or Sin City-style is too good for them; I need a revenge fantasy straight out a hate fic. Maybe Yamada can prove himself useful in that regard.

Maizono freaks out over whatever was on her disk and runs out of the room. When I catch up, I let her cry and shut out the bear's laughter at her pain.

I'm going to enjoy pummeling whoever pulls your strings, teddy.

Once Maizono's calmed down and fallen asleep, I take her to my room, since I can't get into hers.

"Sleep it off."

Its curfew around this time, everybody else is asleep. We have an unspoken rule that we all stay in our rooms at lights out to minimize murder possibilities.

I was never one to listen to curfews, so I walk around the school. All I figure out is that the money the school store accepts has the bear's face on it and when can only find them by solving murders. Now I actually have a reason to want someone to die.

I head back to see my room door is open. Part of the unspoken rule is that we're not to open the doors for any reason at night.

I crawl against the wall and put my ear to it. There's sound of a struggle, someone trying to break down a door.

Then I hear Maizono's voice. She's begging. And crying.

If there's one thing that pisses me off, it's someone hurting or making a girl cry.

"Ahem." I growl. "Asshole."

He freezes for a moment, then turns around and grins madly. I don't get a good enough look due to the light, but that doesn't mean much to someone who's used to working in a dark environment.

The attacker screams and leaps. I can feel my kick shatter his cheekbones, sending him flying. He races toward me, the speed of athlete present. I dodge and slam my elbow into his shoulder as he passes.

I take a look; piercings and red hair. Leon Kuwada, baseball player.

Should've known; the 'good' ones always break first. Kind of hoped in was Togami who cracked first though, one less arrogant billionaire that way…Aw well.

Leon, screaming loud enough to wake the dead, swings a butcher knife at me. Cliché much?

He cuts my chest…and my jacket.

Everyone is outside right now, watching me and this wannabe murderer duke it out. Maizono's still bawling in my room, her clothes ripped and a bit of blood dripping down her arm.

Then I notice her skirt's been tossed aside and her panties are pulled down.

I see red, and next thing I know, Kuwada's stuck in a wall, broken and beaten but still drawing breath. The world is spinning, people are yelling and threatening…why is the world so damn loud?

I pop a pill in my mouth and wheeze. All I really remember is punching the baseball star so hard the tongue piercing must've come out, cause blood flew from his mouth.

"That count as murder, Monokuma?" I ask. "Cause if so, I'm a dead man."

The bear suddenly appears, laughing like a maniac (at this moment I realize I'm going to be repeating myself). Everybody is shocked by this 'ninja skill.'

"We'll let it slide." He laughs, pulling Kuwada off the wall…somehow. "Everyone saw it, not mention nobody died! Now the rest of ya, back to bed."

Everybody does as their told; we never see Leon after that.

Maizono's in shock and asks me to stay with her that night. What I wouldn't have given to have that offer years ago and under better conditions…

She wraps her arms around me, careful of my cut. I smell the shampoo in her hair; blueberry. Looking down, she seems…relaxed. Not entirely, but enough to breathe and sleep.

When my eyes finally close, I go over all my problems: I'm stuck in a school filled with the best of the best who'll probably want me dead first thing in the morning, my memories screwed up and I still don't know why I'm here, aside from the fact that whoever's in charge likes seeing teens suffer.

Well, I'm sleeping with an idol (who seems to enjoy it), so that's a start.

 _-From the Diary of Naegi Makoto_

 **Thoughts? Concerns?**

 **Read and Reiew, feel free to adopt**


	2. Secrets of Shame, sadness and rage

Hardboiled Naegi

Plot: Kirgri isn't the only Super High School Detective at Hope's Peak Academy; a very different Naegi Makoto is in this story; a hardboiled, monloguing in the style of black and white noir films or Sin City kind of Naegi. A Negi who has a way with the ladies…and a hunger for answers.

 **Chapter 2: Secrets of Shame, sadness and Rage**

Everybody has a secret they fight to keep hidden. It's always clawing at the back of our minds, waiting to get out and consume us. All we can do is hope we keep it in.

Hope is a fragile but powerful thing; it can give incredible strength or damn a sucker to the gutter. I used to believe in such a thing with all my heart, and I almost did again….

XXXX

Cold water rains down on me in the shower; Maizono asleep in the bed. A week's past since Leon was handed his ass, and she's refused to go anywhere without me. It took me an hour to convince her to let me have one shower alone.

Don't get me wrong; I love showering with her; a beautiful woman I crushed on all throughout school? And she is so sweet and caring towards a schmuck like me….But still, a guy needs a little time on his moment.

Some would consider it annoying and tell her to get over what happened, but since Leon nearly helped himself to something that mom always told me a lady decides who gets, I don't blame her.

Still wish this'd happened under better circumstances:

I slip under the covers and immediately she wraps her arms around me, nuzzling her cheek against my face: Even asleep she feels safe when I'm around.

A gentle smile crosses her face, and she whispers my name. I return the smile weakly.

No one will hurt her ever again.

XXXX

Since Leon was taken care of, I've learnt more about my classmates.

Togami seems to be under the kind that thinks 'this whole charade is a game, and I'm going to win it.' He spends his time in the library. Less I see of him, the better.

First thing the morning after, Hardass commends me on saving Maizono, giving me hope that I'd get along with him…only for him to say violence 'is not allowed in a school environment.'

"Listen Hardass," I tell him. "In case you didn't notice; the only way anybody gets anything in this place is killing, which is pretty much violence incarnate. And live up to the title of hall monitor, you should've leapt in and protected Maizono before I got there.

The Kuwabara-wannabe slaps me on the shoulder in congrats, and growls at what Leone tried to do. Then he and Hardass get into a piss-fit that ends with them taking over the steam bath. For some reason, every time Hardass and Kuwabara are around, I get 'the ambiguously gay duo' playing in my head ever since they came out of their steam-off…bro-off…thing.

I don't get in contact with the other guys…save the time I actually do beat up the fat nerd when he asks me how Maizono's skin felt. Freak's going to die a virgin, no question about it.

I also call out Hagakure for not being able to see Maizono's attack, but don't bother to listen. Anything related to the future or time has some many laws and variables no one should even bother.

Once again, the lovely ladies of Hope's Peak Academy are the best part of being stuck in the school.

Celeste keeps smiling and talking cryptically, hiding her cute little Goth 'life is meaningless' spiel. She does see this as a game, but she's a gambler and babe, so she can get away with it. Besides, unlike that dick Togami, she is nowhere malicious and snoot about her. Apparently, she and Togami made a bet over who would break first and I made her several hundred yen. She's grateful and starts calling me 'Lucky charm.'

Sakura and Aoi are the first to check on Maizono the morning after, giving her a circle of girlfriends. That makes me apparent tolerance of me is now full like; Sakura and I go about a round and half before she nails me flat on my ass….best spar I've had in a while. Sakura laughs at me, grinning like a dumbass with blood drippling down my lip. I join her and we end up pumping or fists.

Kirgri, while Sakura and Aoi were checking on Maizono, the Detective and I had a little chat; she did her research and found out about ma's business and how I went on all her jobs.

She turns out to be the most like me; her amnesia seems to be pronounced than the others and she keeps digging for clues. We end up spending two of the following afternoons exploring together with Maizono, eventually bringing the cool girl into the circle of friends. She then tries to sit me down and teach me chess…

I suck royally. But I do get the benefit of seeing Kirgri smile quietly and pecking my cheek.

And of course, how could I forget Junko and the 180 she's pulled? The morning after Leon, she buries my face into her…he he…and declares me the savior of the school. Then she drops one hell of a bombshell; she's a solider named Mukuro Ikusaba; long straight black hair and carrying enough weapons to take down an army.

Muku, as I call her, is already on my side. She then slips back into Junko-mode, kisses me when no one's looking and gives me an order:

Live.

I'll try.

XXXX

While Maizono is on self-elected kitchen duty with Kirgri, I go exploring again, hoping to find something better during daylight hours. Aside from finding a bar, from which I later steal some Baileys, vodka and Heineken, I find nothing.

My headaches suddenly come with a vengeance and no warning and my pills are out. I stumble to the nurse's office, head throbbing and the world spinning. The distance is too great and I instead rush to the showers, hoping water will help.

Somehow, I get into the girls'. I blame the bear trying to get someone killed.

"Naegi? W-what're you doing here?"

I see Aoi, fresh out of her workout and headed off to the shower, naked with her hair down. My jaw drops before I turn around, my face hot.

God, those curves…those eyes….that hair now flowing to her shoulders…..Yeah, her chest is nice too, but I look for more than that. You should try it, might actually get you some.

Besides, Toka agrees with me on the curves part; Maizono says she caught the author drooling at the swimmer and tries to fondle her whenever the girls are working out together. Luckily Kirgri or Sakura are always around to scare her off. I laughed at that so hard I coughed.

For whatever reason, for a second, I stop thinking rationally and little Naegi takes over.

I'd like to think no man would blame me….

In the shower, fogged by steaming water, we start kissing and I feel up that body honed through swimming, track and field….And she says my bod isn't too bad; not muscular like Sakura or the Kuwabara-wannabe; Aoi LOVES definition, and accompanying mom on her cases, chasing after scumbags leaves no room for what the nerd's got.

She says she's always known I was a good guy and out of the guys at the school and she's known, I'm the nicest. Kinda sad, but considering her legs were wrapped around my waist at the time, I don't think about it. I tell her she's just as beautiful as all the others, and anybody who makes her think otherwise is a fool.

When we finish, my headaches are gone and my whole body feels in the way it does after Maizono…

Then I realize:

OH SHIT, MAIZONO!

Maizono takes it…..extremely well. She laughs it off and tells me that as long I don't forget her and still tuck her in every night, I can sleep with the entire school body.

….

I punch myself so hard I get two shiners trying to make sure this isn't a dream.

It ain't.

I'm considering changing my title to Harem-master **(AN: shout out to a Different Killing Game)** so that Kirgri gets the detective, but I spend most of a night making sure I have contingencies for all the possible situations that could arise from an open relationship. I'm no ending up like Makoto from School Days.

No relation to the above mentioned idiot.

So I've got an idol, a solider and now a swimmer.

XXXX

The Bear calls us in, pissed that no one has been killed. He tries stir the pot by giving us enevleopes containing what he calls 'or deepest secrets'; what we'd kill to keep hidden.

I get my internet search history. Judging by the looks on everyone else's faces, they probably got worse.

My search history is as follows; Maizono, Maizono and Kawaii Karaoke, surveillance cameras online, Hope's Peak, Junko Enoshima, Junko mag covers, Hope's Peak Yearbook, Monokuma, News, Blacksad online, Kirgri, Ogami, Ogami Dojo partners, Togami industries, translator, Makoto detective agency

I read mine aloud. Yet another grave probably dug; they know I'm a dying guy who's got it going on with an idol, and without much effort, it's clear all the ladies (barring Toka) like me.

Chihiro gives me the biggest surprise of them all…in more ways than I wanted to know where possible. She actually tries to get the group to work together; we're all Super Duper High School Levels, and if we combine our forces we could take down Monokuma. She's already hacked into the school, we just have to join forces, and hope for the right moment.

Hope…Something I gave up on the second I learnt about my condition: I gave my whole life to it, and what did I get?

But for a spilt second, I see mom and sis in Fuji's place.

Togami and Celeste remind Fuji or humanity's dark inner nature and the conversation ends. Everybody goes on their ways, except me and Fuji, who's close to tears and begging for someone to listen to her.

I lose control and take the kid into a hug, telling her to let it out. She does, her tears dripping all over my jacket. I give the kid a sip of baileys to calm down.

"I need to become strong." Chihiro suddenly says, leaping to her feet. "My whole life, I hid away…not anymore. Naegi, can you help me become a man?"

Before I can correct the kid, she tenses and looks around. Then sighs and steels her eyes in a way I've seen on the faces you have everything to loose, but aren't going down without a fight.

If she wasn't too cute for romance, I'd want her….

Chihiro then lifts up her skirt and I see a little bump that isn't supposed to be there.

…..

…..

….

"…C-could you excuse me for moment, Fuji?"

I find the nearest bathroom and scream as loud as I can, then toss my breakfast, lunch and dinner from last night. A damn shame too…Maizono made curry so nice it rivalled ma's!

When I emerge, my eyes are bloodshot and my voice course.

"Ok. Meet me outside my room after dinner."

For the next few days, little Chihiro is my apprentice; kid hits like a baby, but there's real drive and grit in his eyes. No matter how often he falls, he gets right back up and tells me he's gotta become a man.

…still feels weird to call him a guy.

But thanks to Chihiro, Maizono says I'm really smiling again; I give the kid piggybacks and sit it on his hacking attempts. He even spends a night in the same room with me and Maizono, almost like a kid….

If we get out of this, I'm making him my Watson.

XXXX

One day, Monokuma makes an announcement right before everyone heads for breakfast: There's been a murder.

We all rush throughout the school to find a body, and I stop at gym doors. Out of the corner of my

I freeze.

Fuji.

Tied to the wall with those wrap-weights you don't see anymore; the ones the older brother in the Goonies uses and ends up being tied up in. Head bleeding

I fall to my knees, actually praying that this is a dream and that it's not too late.

Chihiro twitches and coughs blood, barely alive.

I rush to him and smack his cheeks lightly, tears stinging my eyes.

"Don't die." I beg. "Don't die, damn it! You're the hope! You're my Watson! The guy with the dragon tattoo!"

Weakly, he opens his eyes and smiles weakly. I ca see the light leaving his eyes.

"I…I'm sorry, aniki…I-I…I just wanted…"

I shush him gently, cupping his chin

"Nae…"

Silence and utter blackness in his eyes.

For the second time I've lost a younger sibling.

"Mom…sis…" I whimper. "Watch over Chihiro…"

I clear my eyes as others come in. Maizono rushes to me and I embrace her, keeping my wails in. Muku and Aoi soon join.

The others are gathered. Some scream, others damn whoever did this, Togami just smirks and opens his mouth….

"One word." I growl. "One word, you're mute."

The bear laughs as he gives us three hours to find evidence and then debate who killed my new little brother.

Red, seething, burning hate fills me. I lightly push the girls away and take one last look at my little brother.

"I'm goanna kill you." I say, loud enough for all to hear, my fists shaking. "Whoever of you killed Fujisaki….you're sleeping in hell tonight."

XXXX

While the others search, I rack my brain for most of the three hours, trying to limit the ones who could've killed that way and figure out what could've brought Fuji to the girl's gym room without a trainer…

When the time is up, we come to a room with defendant stands for us to stand in. There are pictures of most of us; Fuji's is covered with a bloody 'x'. Leon's is missing.

Togami begins the procedding by bringing up a real-life serial killer whose style is similar to how Fuji died. He then orders Toka to 'do it.'

She scared more than ever, and suddenly I notice something.

"Drop the act." I hiss. "Now."

Toka's eyes go reptile and a Gene Simmons drops from her mouth.

Genocider Sho. Super Duper High School Level Serial killer with a sick habit of killing her victims via crucification with shears. How do I know this?

"Naegi!" Sho shouts gleefully. "Been too long! How's the fam?"

…. We've met before. Ma chased Sho for half a year, the same year I met a sailor-swearing tomboy who liked scissors and had the coolest tongue my 10 year old mind had seen. Then said tomboy revealed her habit of collecting serial killer articles and

"Oh, whats the matter? Scared you won't solve this one? The Naegi I knew used to be so hopeful."

"I 'used to' a lot of things." I remind her.

Togami then tries to get us to vote Sho off and end the trial. For such a genius, he can be damned selectively stupid. Then again, most supposed prodigies are.

Sho always uses scissors and always impales the hands. Fuji was tied to the workout equipment. And Sho always uses scissors; she needs to make sure everyone knows it her. She does kill those who 'get her off', but nothing she'd done tells me she knew Fuji's secret.

The Kuwabara wannabe and nerd call me out, saying I'm defending Sho just because I want her in my growing harem. Hardass says harems aren't allowed in school.

Sakura tells me to be careful with my sense, but makes it clear that she, Aoi, Maizono and 'Junko' trust me. Celste also comes to my defense, pointing out that I already knew Sho, and pointing out how stand off I am around her.

Togami is clearly pissed that his well thought-out plan isn't work.

"Maybe you're the killer." Togami suddenly says. "Maybe little Fujisaki wasn't going out with you, and you didn't like that."

The girls are all disgusted by his, even Sho calls her so called love out on this. Monokuma says 'not cool!'

I leave my stand and walk over to Togami, glare at him for a few seconds…Then the smug bastard repeats his 'game' line.

I break his arm in three places, then punch one of the lens of his glasses into an eye. Then I do Bane proud and break him.

He'll live. Unfortunately. I'm no Bane; at best Togami will need crutches for a week or two.

Monokuma lets it slide and say he'll stand in for the dick; pedo jokes are apparently a no-no for him.

Kirgri then drops the bombshell about Fuji's secret. Aside from her and Monokuma, I'm the only one not shocked.

"You knew?" The bear asks, clearly already knowing everything.

I sigh and putting myself under suspicion again, explain what happened; how I was training Fuji every night….

Then I put all but one detail together: Chihiro hadn't been feeling well the day before, so we cancelled our workout. But after dinner, he seemed more chipper and went to bed earlier. Celeste then metions she saw him with a jersey heading to the workout rooms.

"Oh Fuji…" I tear up. "You idiot. You adorable, fucking idiot. You could've come to me."

Kirgri beats Maizono to comforting me, pecking my cheek and shushing my tears.

Sakura mentioned earlier that the stains from her protein coffee was gone, but the fortune teller mentions how he found one under some weights.

….

Wait.

How the fuck did the Kuwabara wannabe know what color jersey Fuji used?

...

Kirgri catches his fumble as well.

"YOU."

"M-me what, bro?" He asks.

"I'LL. FUCKING. KILL YOU."

The thug can't get himself out, despite Hardass trying to save him from death, pointing out it doesn't matter how the thug mentioned a color. He demands that the biker explain.

Monokuma then gives a sap story that makes me hate the guy even more; he has an inferiority complex on strength that erupts in jealousy. It killed his brother when they had a drag race and saved him….and he killed Fuji when the kid decided to reveal his secret just so…just so….

Just so that he wouldn't bother me.

Hardass alone doesn't vote for his possible butt-pal. Just before Monokuma can 'enact punishment', I let out an unholy roar and leap toward the dead man.

Kuwata doesn't make any attempt to stop me. He just takes it all. I don't know how long it goes on for.

Maizono and Muku try to stop me at some point, but I keep screaming and punching.

Aoi suddenly grabs my arm, telling me to stop. And I do.

Kuwata, now dead as a dino, is a bloody mess, as are my fists and jacket.

Monokuma is laughing and Sho is salivating over my vengeful killing. The others are just shocked at what I've done.

That night, I sleep with all three of the women in my life. No sex, just sleeping.

I can't sleep, but they cry themselves into it. I pop a few pills in, hoping I get drowsy.

They don't help.

I glance a packet of cigarettes I stole from Kuwata's coat and help myself to one. I've already got a brain tumor, what're black lungs and fucked up teeth going to do?

I look up the ceiling.

I see Fuji's smiling face, which vanishes when I puff out the smoke.

For a second, I allowed hope to enter my life again, and now I've lost it again.

Maizono. Aoi. Kirgri. Muku. Sakura. They're all I have left now.

For them alone, I'll find whoever put this together, kill them and use the last remaining bits of my life.

 _From the diary of Naegi Makoto_

 **Read and Review**


	3. Downtime with Dames

Hardboiled Naegi

Plot: Kirgri isn't the only Super High School Detective at Hope's Peak Academy; a very different Naegi Makoto is in this story; a hardboiled, monloguing in the style of black and white noir films or Sin City kind of Naegi. A Negi who has a way with the ladies…and a hunger for answers.

AN: Before the story begins, I'd like to make a few things known: I apologize for writing Kuwada when Mondo died, I mixed up their names late at night. Also, Naegi did not kill Leon; the baseball player was punished off-screen by Monokuma. Naegi's history will be confirmed in this chapter; I say confirm because I have faith some readers have already figured it out. Finally, I'm considering a series of one-shot lemons for Naegi and the girls based in this universe, but feel I lack the 'creativity' for such an undertaking. If anyone is interested, send me a PM and we'll chat.

Read and Review!

 **Chapter 3: Down time with Dames**

I don't leave my room for two days. I don't eat, I don't sleep; I don't even take a wiz or dump. All I do is stare at the ceiling and flip off the roof and the sky, cursing the creator for putting me on this earth if he just takes everything from me.

I'm so depressed that the girls could all walk into the room in skimpy bikinis, announce the intent to have sex with me and it wouldn't matter.

I just keep seeing Fuji's smiling face over and over and over and over…

And when it's not his, I see their faces.

And then I always cry myself to sleep, only to wake up and do the whole thing all over again.

XXXX

I used to swear I'd find all the answers to all the problems in the world and I'd never give up hope I could do it; neither did Ma and Sis.

Maji Makoto Detective Agency has been my family for generations; Ma says our family worked alongside the Iga and Kouga ninja clans in feudal Japan and it's thanks to us that several highbrow criminal are incarcerated/ practically unknown.

I'd go into more details, but it'd probably be best if you didn't know.

Ma inherited MMDA from dad shortly after I was born. I never knew the old man, he supposedly died fighting off in some war.

Ma tackled any kind of case; murderers, robbers, kidnappers, it didn't matter; give her a case and 64 hours, or less, and she'd take the job. Aside from Genocider Sho, she always got her prep and had fun doing it: Other kids had GI Joe or Transformers; I grew up watching Ma kick the asses of the worse scum the world had to offer while lecturing them on how the fucked up their own lives.

Yeah….Kind embarrassed to admit it, but I was a Tag-along-kid. And all the moves I've shown; I learnt all those and more watching Ma do them on punks, murderers and scumbags.

Ma would always tongue lash me whenever I snuck onto a case with her; which is surprisingly both as easy as it seems like on TV and gets harder as you get older. Then she'd mess up my hair and take me out for ice cream, calling me her little hopeful hero.

I lived for hearing those words. I started sneaking around all the time, finding clues for mom to find and noticing little things that the cops never gave too much thought about. No that'd I'd blame them, the things that tie back can be the craziest….

Ah, whatever.

I stopped sneaking onto cases when Sis was born, focusing on being around for my then baby sister and catch up my schoolwork so that when I inherited MMDA I'd actually be able to do it….and yeah, daydreaming about Maizono probably took up a good chunk of my time.

Sis always teased me about that. Which I returned by reminding her that she listened to my crush's CDs. We'd playfully spar before Ma came back, have dinner and then either go for the big reveal of cases or chill and watch gangster movies.

At any glance, I had a pretty good and cool life for most of it; badass mom, cute little sister, a family legacy I could actually see myself picking up after. All I'd really need was the gal of my dreams and then it'd be perfect.

Then one day, everything changed.

I'd stayed out later than usual that day, clean-up duty went out for tea after we were done, with the long weekend coming up. I hadn't thought too much of it, I'd sent Ma a text, and she said it was cool.

I came home to complete and utter hell:

The house had been burnt down, and the pyros had let themselves in first. Ma and Sis had been home and put up a hell of a fight….but it wasn't enough. Monokuma must've been there; I may be deluding myself, but claw marks like his own were there.

Ma and Sis lived just long enough to see me in the hospital and smile. We'd been hugging when their lines went flat.

The Hopeful Hero they adored died that day. The Hardboiled Hater came in his place.

XXXX

Since Fuji died, the bastard bear opened up more of the school; now we got a pool and greenhouse. Knowing Aoi, she's probably already taking over.

Once again, I'm all alone in my room, bloodshot eyes staring at the room I've memorized so well I bet I could spot things the maker didn't see.

Then I hear an irritating voice that is still more tolerable than Togami's.

"Well, look at the little bitch. Where's the Naegi I played with?"

Sho. She's still out? And hasn't killed Togrami?

Huh. Wonder if I could pay her to kill him? My fantasies just ain't doing it.

"So you couldn't save someone, so what?" Sho asks me. "You ain't Goku or Superman, your Naegi Makoto."

She thinks that's going to bring my spirit?

"Hope can be a real pain, huh?" Sho tells me. "You give and give and all it does is take. And you actually believed in for it for so long, never giving of it and somehow being cute about it instead of those guys I'd slit. Then you became like the rest of us when it took your mom and that cute little sister of yours. Yeah, I know what happened, and not going to lie, I'm as pissed as you are; your mom made our games fun! Minus that one time I kidnapped and threatened you…"

"I still get phantom feels of the gag and ropes you used."

"Kinky." Sho smirks, then continuing with her rant, which seems to be dying down. "Anyways, not saying you don't deserve a little down time, but like your mom said; you got a life, live it! Sides, with her gone, I need an arch-enemy, and you're cuter than all the other possibilities. Yes, that includes Togami. Cool and collected can be hot, but give me a nice fella any day and I'm his. So, buck up, shut up and get fucking up shit again, its boring around here!"

Since when did Sho care about anybody but herself?

"Sides, you got that hottie Aoi worrying her curvy bod over you. Not to mention the idol, model and the other gals, even if they don't admit it. I don't like it when that hottie's bubbly and bouncy face ain't smiling."

Yeah, that sound more like it.

She's right though, the girls have been worried about me and trying to comfort me. I've been taking some of it, but have been an emo jerk about it sometimes, just asking to be alone.

For the first time in a couple days, I stand up, bow to Sho in thanks….then make it clear once this over, I'm finishing what ma started with her.

She laughs maniaclly and pinches me on the cheek…then kisses me.

"Call me, Naegi!" She smiles as she hops back to her room

…..

I have half a min to consider adding sexual assault to her list of crimes….but I kinda liked it.

My clothes stink to high heaven, so I go with my alternate clothes; a silver trench-coat and fedora hat with a button up part that covers up my face except my eyes with black gloves, combat boots Muku gave me and fresh pants. Before doing the final button, I pop a few pills in so that I don't get dizzy.

Kirgiri and Maizono are standing outside the door, smiles on their faces. They put this on for me?

I thank them, getting a hug from my first gal while my fellow detective smiles and pats me on the shoulder before telling me something's been found that I need to see.

I see it.

Fujisaki's adorable, smiling face.

"FUJI!"

I push everyone out of my way and tear the laptop away from the salivating Yamada (we got a whole media room and he still wants more laptops?), feverishly typing away to talk with my little bro. He explains that he backed up his personality onto this laptop under the name Alter-Ego and then goes into techno-babble I'd never understand.

I just kiss the screen as tears go down my face.

I still have my lil bro.

Kirgiri gently takes Fuji for me for a promised two minutes, asking him about Mondo for Hardass. The face of Fuji's killer suddenly shows up and spouts some crap that honestly sounded like him; he made his own choice and now he has the afterlife to reflect on it.

Kind of respect the guy now.

Hardass suddenly goes Super Saiyan (or whatever you call whenever hair goes white and energy bursts from someone) and declares himself a fusion with the Kuwabara wannabe.

A hall monitor delinquent? I think I may just actually start to like him now.

We agree to keep Fuji, now codenamed Alter-Ego a secret and in a single location; there's only one room in the whole class he'd be safe from anybody, and it ain't my room…it's the lockerroom that goes to the steam bath.

I spend the next for minutes catching up with Fuji before Aoi and Muku (I really wish she would be herself, not just Junko) command me to take a shower and eat something.

XXX

God, damn poker.

I actually got a slim chance of ever winning a game of chess. Not a big chance, but a slim one regardless. Poker and other card games? Unless it's go fish, I suck royally.

Why do I mention this?

After showering and while stuffing my face with food, I apologize to the girls for the way I've been acting. Sakura reveals she 'burrowed' Fuji from Yamada and my little bro playfully lectures me on being considerate of a girl's feelings. Considering he lived as one for the longest time, I find he raises a lot of good points.

I promise to never again go emo, and then I'm covered in beauties smooching me from the forehead to the neck. When they have to go and take care of something, I'm covered in kisses.

I may not have a lot of life left, but I'm loving what I got so far.

As I'm reluctantly cleaning off the displays of affections, Celeste come by with a bombshell of a confession; she's got a plan to kill two people and win the millions of dollars the bear bastard said the next person who killed would win by framing the fortune teller.

For some reason though, she's having second thoughts and feels the need to tell me everything. She's trying to charm me into being her toy…and for that cute little goth's smooth and silky tones, I'd wear a dog collar, pant my tongue and sit as she commanded.

What?

Yeah I got issues in keeping women happy…And look what that's got me so far? Maybe you oughta learn something from this…

If I actually win.

I have to beat her in a game of poker to keep her from doing such. If she wins, she goes about with her plan and I keep quiet as I watch her eventually get whatever Monokuma has in store for those who fail to get away with murder. If I win, she smiles and says she'd like to join the harem I have growing and….she'll give me the whole night.

A nay-sayer or perv may tell me to use my 'horniness' to power my way through this problem, show off my (as Maizono and Aoi say) killer bod or whisper lines that'll make her legs go jelly.

But like chess, poker don't work like that.

You gotta keep your cool, keep your opponent guessing…

Wait, what?

Celeste want to do strip poker.

God, bless poker!

Two minutes later, I take that back; I'm down to my underwear and all Celeste's tossed is her jacket….revealing her pale, silkly smooth looking arms.

"Out of luck, lucky charm?" She smiles.

Oh, I love it when she calls me that…

I reveal my hand, not caring what I have and knowing I have no hope of beating a verteran gambler like Celeste.

All aces.

That's apparentky good, cause Celeste takes off her top.

Not her just her jacket; I mean everything but her lacey black bra.

"Good game, Lucky Charm." She smiles. "Almost got you."

Before I can, for some reason, point out how it shouldn't count because of the difference between our experience, lips covered with a lavender like gloss cover mine. A maid cap then falls to the floor and long, smooth black hair cascades down Celeste's head.

She then lands on my chest, my eyes start going fuzzy…She gently pushes two of my pills into my mouth; sweetly smiling as she does so.

As we kiss, she tells me how she built herself from nothing and made herself exteremly wealthy. I've heard stories like this before, but when a pretty lady tells them I pay much more attention. All she needed was one more big score….

Which apparently, is me.

The money the bear bastard showed us is not important to her anymore, and she's not sure what I've done, but she's grateful. Now she may actually be the diplomat she tried to present herself as when the whole mess started. That, and without competiton, she'll be able to unwind a little.

An idol, swimmer, gambler and a fellow detective.

XXXX

I forgot how I was for a second today.

I got a message from the gals about some creep bothering them at the pool. It really should've occurred to me that Muku and Sakura probably could've handled whichever of the remaining three (and a half, if what Hardass said is true) dicks was giving them trouble, but something today made me rush towards the only things I give a damn about.

What greeted me?

Aoi, Maizono, Muku, Kirgiri and Celeste stand right in of me; smiling in bikinis and asking me how they look.

God. Damn. Thank you.

Aoi's red string bikini looks as amazing as ever, barely covering what needs to be covered and leaving nothing to the imagination.

Maizono's bikini is pink, contrasting her blue hair and calling back memories of her band days.

Muku is in an army camo style bikini, with a sash wrapped around her right arm. Her dyed hair is down.

Kirgiri is donned in a one-piece in Sherlock Holmes like colors. The slight smile on her face tells me she's using this to tease me.

Celeste has a sundress like swimsuit on; a black one with a crow like theme.

"Like what you see, Lucky Charm?" She teases, and I nod weakly.

If I die now, my only regret will be never killing Togami.

Muko and Maizono playfully drag me into the pool, clothes and all.

Not that they're on for long…

I go to bed tonight with all the gals in my life sharing the bed while I sleep on the chair, and I feel damn good about it.

I feel alright, for the first time in a long time.

 _From the Diary of Naegi Makoto._

 **Like I said in the AN, Read and review, offer suggestions for the story**


	4. An actual mystery revealed, part 1 ends

Hardboiled Naegi

Plot: Kirgri isn't the only Super High School Detective at Hope's Peak Academy; a very different Naegi Makoto is in this story; a hardboiled, monloguing in the style of black and white noir films or Sin City kind of Naegi. A Negi who has a way with the ladies…and a hunger for answers.

First story written in single-person view and first actual harem story, read and review!

I hope this chapter is okay, I wrote it in two hours and kind of jumped all over the place; and it takes a major break from canon. It's the first mystery I wrote.

 **Chapter 4: An actual trial? You got the Right!**

Life's a bitch. It treats you well one second, then swoops in and steals everything. Honesty, I should've seen this coming.

Soon, there'll be less dicks in this school….but no answers to why we're here, how Monokuma knows so much about us…and how much he was involved in my family's destruction.

XXX

The private pool party signaled the end of good times at Hope's Peak; me, my gals, water and bathing suits?

Well, I technically had to get naked after Muku pulled me in….but the girls didn't complain; Maizono and Kirgiri even think the scar Leon gave me, no matter how small, is sexy.

So, what's gone wrong you may ask? Is my condition getting worse? Did Monokuma drop another reason to kill that I actually consider? Have my girls ditched me?

….

If you were in front of me, I'd break your face in for even implying that last one. After punching myself for thinking that.

My hair's starting to fall out and my headaches are getting worse and worse. My pills don't do anything anymore, and the school actually does not have anything stronger…at least nothing in pill form.

I'm taking injections now; the in the back kind. They don't really help, but it's the best I can get. Aoi administers them while Maizono and Kirgir hold my hand and Muku gives me breathing exercises to calm down.

Yes. I'm scared of needles. Who isn't?

Aside from Sho.

When I wake up today, my formerly short brown hair is now almost shaved off and I always have a cigarette in my mouth…though I don't light them, so it's more oral fixation.

The girls are still with me; I tell them they're free to leave the dying man alone and find another fella, but Maizono tehn points out that I'm only the decent choice. The other agree.

My life is probably getting shorter, but I still have reasons to enjoy and protect it.

XXX

Aoi Asahina, my swimming goddess. Voluptuous and the brightest smile I'd ever seen…and the face she makes when she stuffs donuts in her mouth….

She's a girl with protection; even before I came around. You mess with her; be prepared to deal with 218 pounds of pure muscle and deep seething rage:

Sakura Ogami, the Super Duper High School Level Martial Artist, known in fighting circuits as 'the ogre.' Many say it's fitting; the scars on her muscular man-like form and her deep voice.

I disagree.

Sakura's loyal, strong willed and tough as they come. Ogres are vile bullies and cowardly most of the time, Shrek and them notwithstanding.

If it'd come down to it, I'm pretty sure Sakura's the one person Mom couldn't beat in a fist-fight. Why?

I'm lucky if I last two minutes against her in a spar.

She holds nothing back on me, saying that if I want to protect Asahina, I'd better get tougher than I am already. Beating Leon and pummeling Mondo to death doesn't count in her book.

I agree, though I wish she didn't stick with the whole 'DODGE!' and hit me spiel.

Kirgiri teases me everytime I come to dinner with a black eye or busted lip, and Aoi begs Sakura to go easy on me.

Personally, I don't care; I don't have much longer, but I'll be damned if anyone hurts my reasons for waking up…which now includes Sakura herself, friendship alone being the reason.

Aoi always offers to let Sakura join our group, but Sakura makes it clear that while she finds me charming, I'm not her type.

I understand.

XXXX

My mourning starts off as usual as I does around here; untangle myself (very reluctantly) from the beauties in my room, take a shower and then go down for breakfast. Then I bounce back to my room, brush my teeth and then head to where we keep Fuji's laptop.

We've been meeting every day, with Fuji going over the files he hacked and translating them for me.

Today, I plan on watching the entire video library and cracking the mystery that is Muku-chan's alias; Junko Enoshima.

The name had to come from somewhere, even if she doesn't remember where it is. She's a model, I know that, but what's her connection to Muku? That, I and I want her to act like herself; a rough and tough, military gal? She'd get along great with everybody…but for some reason she can't tell me, she can't drop her cover.

With that in mind, I pull out my thermos of Joe and down a cup; freshly pressed by Celes herself with sweeteners recommended by Aoi and Sakura.

But as I get closer to the steam bath, I hear arguing. Yamada and Ishida. I'm almost about to wait for them to blow up, so that I can talk with Fuji in secret.

Then I see why.

….

Fuji's not there.

…..

"Fellas." I sigh. "I promise I won't be mad….just tell me which of you took Fuji."

The two point to each other and continue arguing over whatever the hell they seem to think Fuji is…And I don't give a damn.

My little brother…my precious, adorable, simulated little brother…has been kidnapped, for lack of a better term.

I crack my knuckles, and a smile overtakes my face.

"I have been waiting for an excuse to beat you two up." I grin. "Almost as much as Togami."

Said billionaire, his arm in a sling and an eyepatch covering the eye I rammed his glasses into, whimpers.

I turn around to see almost everyone has assembled, no doubt brought to the area by the voices of the loud mouthed hall monitor.

Celes. Uncousious, a bruise on her head. Maizono and Kirgri help her to feet, where she tells us that someone was waiting and hit her. She'd sure he was a robot.

….

A robot.

Well, we got a teddy bear for a principal, so why not?

"I got ya, Aoi." I take her into my arms, letting her nestle in…before we hear another scream. Celeste takes Aoi from me and demands I go and see what's going on; Maizono and Kirgri found Ishimaru, his brains splattered all over the floor.

Before we can move, Aoi screams again. I rush back to her Celes, who explains and points to the…missing body of Yamada.

I'm personally finding it hard to care about either death, but their bodies vanishing has my interest.

Muku then hollers, and we find both bodies in a pool of…whatever that purple stuff is. I've bled red, so I doubt its blood.

Okay, when did this turn into a Disney flick…? Oh wait, never mind. He's dead a minute later. Though, I got to give him credit for taking two blows to the head before finally dying.

With his last breath, Yamada gasps a name; the bum, aka Hagakure.

The second I hear that, realize something:

This was Celes' plan. The plan I convinced her not to do.

Someone stole my gambler's idea. That pisses me off. Bad enough someone had the audacity to hit her, which alone is ging to put me on a warpath, but above all else….

No one. Steals. Anything. From my ladies.

I want to say Togami. Dear gods above and below, I want to say Togami. Just so I can see him dragged off and watch as Monokuma does something oddly fitting to him for his punishment…like feeding him cash until he bursts. And all the while, my girls and I will be watching, and I'll pretend to be disgusted and comfort them…..but then I'll kiss Toka/Sho and smirk at his dying form, letting him know I'VE got the one person who actually gave a damn about him, and he treated her poorly.

He does have motivation; with his whole 'this is a game' line of thought, it'd only take some time before he decided to off somebody. And as much as I hate to admit it, he's smart enough to get away with it if he really wanted to.

The money is also a potential reason; though I doubt it alone is the reason he may have offed someone; his great-grandkids will never have to work, he's got so much cash.

And then there's my breaking his arm and blinding him in one eye….

But, the private dick in me reminds me; never assume someone did it without proof. As much as I hate to say it, one of my….

Suddenly, something starts coming up my throat as Monokuma gives us 3 hours to investigate. I freeze and put my hand to my mouth.

I puke up blood and fall to me knees, my ladies rushing to me. I then fall flat on my back as a sharp pain fills my body: my head, my stomach, even my hands and legs.

I let out a scream that is heard throughout the school. I swear that I hear Monokuma laughing it up.

Sakura pins me down as the others ask me what's wrong. After that, everything goes blank.

XXX

I wake up in my bed, some dried blood on my pillow. The pain has dulled, but I move slower to keep my body from erupting in pain again.

Turning to the clock, I see that it's only been an hour since I feel asleep.

Forcing myself to my feet, I review everything that's happened: Fuji has been kidnapped (and yes, I shall call it that), and the two most likely culprits are dead.

The door opens, and my girls help me to my feet, telling what little they've learnt:

Hagukure was found in the closet in a robot costume. He claims someone overpowered him and forced him into the suit, but only Celes and Kirgiri are giving him the benefit of the doubt. Togami lead a search of the scences…and Maizono and Muku are pretty sure he tampered with evidence.

He's REALLY not helping my wanting to be professional while secretly hoping he's the one.

"I need to see the scenes." I say. "I've always said I'm a detective as well….Time for me to prove it."

Sakura takes me into her arms and we rush to the scenes, the girls behind us.

"I need a chemistry set, fingerprint kit and a blood reading machine." I say, forgetting the name after losing a pint of blood from the mouth and still tasting iron.

XXXX

Eventually, the time comes to converge and decide who did it.

Aoi, bless her, actually shuts the bear up, so he falls asleep until we choose who did it.

By looks an appearances, it looks like Hagukure did it; he was in a robot suit, the same that attacked Yamada. The two were not crucified with scissors, so it can't be Sho.

"Togami." I say. "Shut up before you lose the other eye. At least I didn't tamper with evidence."

He smirks and claims he did it make the….you know interesting.

Sho actually throws scissors at him, calling his disrespectful to the 'bond' of killer and detective…I frankly can't be bothered to care to comment on that.

"But the killer made one critical mistake." I smirk, downing some water. "Moving the bodies. Kiri-chan, would you care to take over?"

She blushes ever so slightly, revealing that Yamada was act ally alive when Aoi and Celes first found him; my gambler said she saw his chest move slightly, but figured it was the blow to her head.

Then she lets me drop the bombshell: I found Yamada's fingerprints on Ishida's body.

No one reacts initially with anything else but shock, but the bear is pissed that there was a co-op kill, which he feels are against the rules.

"You never said that." I smirk.

"Don't think just because you're almost dead you're off the hook pal." Monokuma glares. I simply stick out my blood covered tongue and give him two middle fingers…. Apparently, it's enough to make Sho declare she'll be touching herself to that image.

Togami then finally spins his tale against me; with my health growing worse and worse, I became desperate to see the outside world once again, so I conned the nerd to kill Ishida on the grounds on stealing Fuji to see Mondo. Then I killed him to keep him quiet, and framed Hagukure to throw suspicion on me. That way, I'd have three less rivals for the girls' affections.

I burst into laughter, almost blood leak from my mouth again.

"YOU GOT THAT WRONG!" I declare loudly, firing a random bullet that doesn't do anything…then I go back to laughing, falling the floor and spinning in fits of laughter.

"That's actually a pretty good theory." I gasp between laughs. "Seriously, for once you're actually acting like the genius you claim to be. But…there's one problem with it: I got nothing outside this building. And while I certainly don't planning on dying in it, I certainly ain't going to leave without my gals."

I look at each and every one of them, making it clear I mean what I say.

"And besides." I finish my spiel. "If I was going to kill any of you fellas…it'd be you, Togami."

"So then, who did it?" Muku asks.

I enter a thinking pose and whip a cigarette into my mouth. I light it up for the sake of looking cool.

"Who did it?" I say aloud, looking to roof. "This is the critical moment, the big reveal of not only this murderer, but everything in general."

That gets everybody's attention.

"Yeah, hurry this up!" Monokuma hollers. "You crack this case, I get to kill someone and show you were the laptop is…"

He then realizes his slip.

"Too late." I smirk. "It's actually pretty clear. The killer is…."

I point to Monokuma.

"MONOKUMA, or rather, his operator…the REAL JUNKO ENOSHIMA, SISTER OF MUKURO IKUSABA, WHO MOST OF US KNOW AS JUNKO!"

The bear goes silent. Muku then takes off her wig, revealing herself….finally. She smiles, salutes and blows me a kiss.

"There were supposed to 16 students…yet we've been one short from the get go." I say. "That was the first clue."

The bear then leaps toward me, but I manage to duck and start dodging his slashes as I continue my explanation.

"The second clue was the fact that Muku-chan alone knew about Junko Enoshima….Yeah she had stalkers as a model, but no one can pull off an act like that without even the tiniest slip, unless they knew that person inside out. Muku revealing herself to me was the first hint that she was behind all this. I assume Junko intended to kill her so that she could operate in secret."

That fills me with complete and utter rage; being a former proud big brother myself, I can't fathom any of that Cain and Abel stuff.

The bear puppet tries to explode before I continue, but Sakura manages to punch it away. I grin at the sight of some of the soot hitting Togami.

"But the biggest clue came from Fuji's backed up files." I declare as I reach into my jacket and unsheathe mom's old, sawed off Magnum .44. I then take off the head of another bear bot, I then pull out a photo of all of us…in a classroom.

"Hope's Peak was supposed to be a safe haven for us." I confess, taking Kirigri into my arms as she begins crying and saying 'father.' "But Junko corrupted it; killed the real principal and altered our memories. I realized that once I started losing my hair and found a scar. Kiri-chan, I know this'll be painful, but can you please take over? I have revenge to extract."

There's no need, Junko appears and begins speaking in various tones, detailing how we have nothing to live for.

I don't listen to a word she says, walking towards her and smacking away Monokuma bears.

"So, what, like, gave me away?" She asks coyly. "My fingerprints?"

"A bit of skin." I confess, leveling my gun at her face. "Open the doors."

"You wouldn't hurt me." Junko smiles, walking seductively and getting up and close in my face. "I can tell you everything…and you'd despair at hitting a lady."

I smile back…then empty mom's pistol into her face.

"You ain't no lady." I hiss.

Just then, everything goes white.

XXXX

I then wake up….

I'm outside. In a dessert.

Cliché.

Fitting, this story started and ends with one….

Hope's Peak is nowhere to be seen.

The world clearly ain't a shit hole though…

I then move just in time to see two swords rain down. Holding them is a kid with blue hair.

"Sorry pal, but you're my hit."

I race towards him and punch him, but he lands on his feet.

"Who're you?"

"Name's Nagisa, but call me Buratto pūru." The kid smiles as he pulls down his mask; a Deadpool mask. "It rhymes with Borrito-pool and…that's pretty much it."

We then rush towards each other; I've got girls to find and protect…no wannabe killer is going to keep me down.

 **To be continued in the upcoming…**

 **Harboiled Nagei vs. Nagisa, the Assassin with a mouth!**

 **Naegi and Nagisa find themselves teaming up when they learn Junko was in partnership with certain individuals with the goals of spreading despair….and the fights are going to get more and more personal.**

 **Note; this fic will still be updated, but now with lemons with Naegi and his girls in noir-like settings. First up; Maizono the dancer.**

 **Read, review and offer suggestions.**


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